2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops