Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

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does this look unsure to you?

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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