Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. who's driving? The black guy because he just turned 16. His school mate the Mexican child is still only 15 and he will have to wait a few more months before he can drive.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

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I lost my tractor.

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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