How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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