Guess what? Chicken butt

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

Knock knock whos there? A dead black man ... i farted

What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...