whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Women's Rights Movement

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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0123456789

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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