In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

your fat

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please

Wanna hear a joke? No.

What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...