Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Liars go to hell! -God

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

thumb_up thumb_down

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

poop is very very yummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops