This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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An atheist walks into a church

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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