How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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Where else? The junk yard

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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Animal

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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