What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Knock! Knock! B: Who's there? A: Kitchen B: Kitchen who? A: GET THERE!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -28

i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +23

where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -11

That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops