What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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I have a horse.

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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