Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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