Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

wanna hear a better joke? casey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

nick toth

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops