Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

What is an antijoke? Not Knock

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

what do you say when you see a winner weaner

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...