Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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ask me if im a door yes

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A black man and a white woman walk out of a mall restroom holding hands and sweating. The white woman is arrested on the spot for statutory rape and sent to prison for 10 years. The black man was barely 16 years old.

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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