How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Christ is a conspiracy

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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I hate Jews The Holocaust

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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