Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

thumb_up thumb_down +14

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

mikey is cute

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops