A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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copy me and i will kill you

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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what did one tree say to the other? move over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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