more like nig!

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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69

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Why did the American run over the black man. Because he didn't see him standing there.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops