What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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PIED NINNY!

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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