whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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