A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

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Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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