If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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