Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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