How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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