what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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A seal walks into a club.

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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