A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

thumb_up thumb_down +42

An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

thumb_up thumb_down -20

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

thumb_up thumb_down -1

follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How does shit taste?\ Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops