Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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A man... walks.

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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alert('hiiii');

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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kill yourself

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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404 Error: Joke not found

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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