Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Knock Knock Yes?

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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