How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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no really what are ur names?

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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