What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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