Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

thumb_up thumb_down +50

"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats In My Trash? Bears

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

hey, my names mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops