Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Patrick is gay

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What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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