A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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myspace

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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