who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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a man walked into a bar....

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Heartlight

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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