What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Jimmy Saville

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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