Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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