Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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feces

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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