Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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batman farted so hes retarded

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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