what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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