Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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sky silverstein

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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run farther?

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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