How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Banana(s)

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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