A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

What swims in the ocean? Fish

What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Exactly what?

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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