When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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