A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

Face...the other white meat!

Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

Arrow to the Knee

why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

A: Knock knock. B: <>

You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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