Whats worse than being bored, Being you.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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say it ten times fast: oh

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops