How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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conrad profit

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Obamacare haters

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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Apple juice.

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Abortion.

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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pickle juice?

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What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

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Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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