How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops