Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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HEY!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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