Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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