Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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I love you

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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