What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -80

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

thumb_up thumb_down -18

hola said the chinese man

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man says "ask" correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops