what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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whats brown? poop.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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Your mom goes to college

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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