Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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I was raped the other day... I still did more work than the bitch

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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