How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok lets... wait.. wtf I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Women's rights

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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