- Anti Joke

Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

your a vagina says you, your a booby

A fish swims up your penis...

1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

So a jew walks into a bar!

A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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