What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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Jake Bowar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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