What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

thumb_up thumb_down

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops