roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither has he.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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