whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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copy me and i will kill you

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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what did one tree say to the other? move over

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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