Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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knock knock

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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I lost my tractor.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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