Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

thumb_up thumb_down +123

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Misner is a twat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops