dry handjob

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

Do the roar!

What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

I am a real homosexual

A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

Icecream

Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

I'm Spartacus

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

Roses are red Violets are blue... No they are not they come in many different colors from cross breeding and different environments.... YOU ARE WRONG

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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