One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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what's the difference between a duck?

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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shut up

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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