- Anti Joke

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean's list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn't been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there's no punch line.

Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

Why did the book disappear?

Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

where is the world?

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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