Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

What is white and square? A ping pong block

I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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