When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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whats worst than reading youtube comments? Panic at the disco

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Opinions are like assholes... ...they're both nouns.

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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