Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

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We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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