How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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sweaty black guy

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Why does the gaming console Wii suck? ????????????????I like ice cream????????????????

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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