I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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Loading....please wait.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Penis!

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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