Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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