Water, please.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a black man There is many ways

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

thumb_up thumb_down

A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Politics

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops