How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down +6

antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops