I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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I love you

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops