What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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fack me!

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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