How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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. pussy . I don't get it ? .of course you don't

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That's what he said.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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poop.

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Paper shield.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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