whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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Knock knock. Death.

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Banana(s)

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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