Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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#Hanging Degus

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Two friends were hanging out. One of them asks, "what's that awful smell?" the other replies, "I AM NOT A ROBOT!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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