What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Your mother just died.

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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