How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

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what?

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Gay republicans

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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i am and me is i

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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