Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than rush hour traffic? Your childhood friend, Ricky, was just brutally killed by a street cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I pooped my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A child walks into a classroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops