How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

Where does the Queen of England live? England.

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

AIDS

go F*** yourself

What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

Three baby seals walk into a club...

why did the black guy die? cancer

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

What happens when you light a truck full of babies on fire and drive it off a cliff filled with lava and set off explosives when they land? The babies die. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

Who lost World War II? The Jews.

Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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