Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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What's worse than your dad dying in a car crash? Your mom being in the same car.

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what does rhinoceros and tomato have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

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What is the difference between the Xbox, PS3, and the Wii? The Wii is a complete waste of money.

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Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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