Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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Are you Drew?

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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9/11

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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