Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what's 9+10? 19, not 21

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How would you rule?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Should a pole bump an alarm?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops