What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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Face...the other white meat!

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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The dewey decimal system

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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2 + 2 = fish

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Arrow to the Knee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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