Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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