If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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you are gay

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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