what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

A blind man walks into a wall.

why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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