What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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9/11

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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