You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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