What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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anti jokes are gay...your all gay

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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GONNA

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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