A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

A women in the kitchen.

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

What sounds really bad? An accordion.

a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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