What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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Loner.

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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bob saget

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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Q: why didn't the little black boy have a father? A: because he unfortunately died at the age of 48 with pancreatic cancer.

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whats a dick a dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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