How are JFK and Jimmy Neutron similar? They both had brain blasts.

I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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