Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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Satan called. I put him on hold.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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