how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

GONNA

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

But who would want to sell us out and why?

angelosnyder is not gay

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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