What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

thumb_up thumb_down -33

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops