Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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whats worst than reading youtube comments? Panic at the disco

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops