Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What's funny about black people? The fact that they are all in prison for not being visible at night time.

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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