Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

batman farted so hes retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have altzeimer's, Cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops