Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

hello what is this crazy nonsense site sl

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

CFL

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

Penis

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

What did John name his dog? Doggy

Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

I said I hate niiggers

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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