An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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you put the chevy to the levy when your pants fell heave diarea

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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