There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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why did a bunch of black kids play in a pile of leafs? to have fun :)

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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This is a joke. Laugh!

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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