Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats black and red inside? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

thumb_up thumb_down -7

As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

destiny

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

thumb_up thumb_down -28

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

so dont touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops