Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is brown and sticky?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

do not read this(this is intended to be read)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops