What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops