How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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Brienna Chladek (515)556-4811. Call me;) anytime I'm a teenager:) xoxo

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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69

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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