How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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Hey, Max!!

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CAVE JOHNSON.

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Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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