Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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spell backwards: taco cat

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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?ti saw won troffe eht htrow t'nsaw yllaer siht

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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