Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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You have cancer

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops