compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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Q: What's small and can't read? A: A candybar

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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What's funnier then 24... The Holocost

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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