"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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I Have a Black Friend

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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I love you very much.

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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the cast of the jersey shore

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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