Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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I like school Said no one ever.

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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your mom died.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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