What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Roses are red, Violets are VIOLET!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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