A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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69

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kyle dosnt eat dick...

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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