An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

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your no better than a cockroach

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What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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