What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Previous Next SERIOUSLY EVERONE! I STRICTLY FORBID YOU TO GIVE MY COMMENT A GREEN THUMB! BECAUSE THEN I WOULD DIE A VIOLENT DEATH AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL! DO YOU HEAR ME! YEEEEAH, YOU BETTER GIVE ME A RED THUMB! YEAH! BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN ONE! GREEN THUMB! I WOULD JUST DIE AND YOU WOULD BE LEFT WITH THE GUILT! YEAH! PEOPLE WOULD HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! YOU AS THEIR HERO! I MEAN THEIR NERO... Same same... DIES! YES! Moral: CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO DIE, REPEAT AFTER ME: "I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS, I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! I AM UNDER HIS CONTROL! I MUUUUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! YES DO MY BIDDING PEASANTS AND I SHALL SHALL BUILD THE FORTRESS OF SALTITUDE! ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! PUT IT DOWN AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NO NOT UP, THE THUMB MUST BE DOWN! ...I am looking at you there... "YES YOU! NOT EVERYBODY ELSE! JUST YOU! YEEES I SEE YOU WAVING THAT NASTY GREEN THUMB OF YOURS! YEAH! SHAME ON YOU! WHAT WILL EVERYBODY ELSE BUT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT HUH? ...I will be silent now... But I am still watching, yeah! I am constantly here... ZzzzZzzz... AND AWAKE!... ..:SERIOUSLY! GREEN THUMB IS VERBOTEN! IT IS NAZI, IT IS HITLER! SHAME! SHAAME! Moral: Now, do you want my death by green thumb on your conscience? SHAAAAME! WHAT WILL THE COMMUNITY DO TO YOU! DO YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!? And next time on Dragonball DONTGIVEAFUCKING GREENTHUMBEVER Z! I shall be the one and only to give myself a green thumb, but remember... I am still watching... At you.... Now, I will stop talking... BUT RED THUMBS ONLY! *ME EVER PRESENT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! AND NOW! AND NOW! AND YOU MY POINT... YOU BETTER! I MEAN MAYBE I HAVE NOT BEEN CLEAR ENOUGH HERE, BUT THIS COMMENT SHALL HAVE A GREEN THUMB UP FROM THE CHOSEN ONLY, MEEEEEE!*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Obama 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +21

yo momma is so tall shes tall

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i hate non minorities!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why is your hair black? it was heretitery.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops