Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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YOU

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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