How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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What do black people eat? Food.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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black people

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Blarg

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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