two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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