Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

speak now or forever hold your pee

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

Emily Walker.

What is 9+10? 19

What's 6 + 9? 15.

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

"Eliza" We have heard your concerns, yet as you know Nero7 has for many years suspected that we are being infiltrated, and while this led towards changes in security measures and clearance checks, to the point that many of our members began fearing that Nero7 was becoming paranoid, and some quit even believing he had become delusional... ...His suspicions have during his absence due to health reasons, proven true. All worldwide locations but our main foundation/base have fallen under complete control of powerful forces what we have concluded is a single global terrorist organization which is as we speak, using what they believe is the orders main resources, using them for acts such as pressuring our members for money, attempting to conscript them as soldiers, and going as far as using underhanded, aggression and pressure and violence in order to further their goals. The good news "Eliza" is that Nero7 gave us permission to access his personal files, where his suspicions, which otherwise had led even many of us of higher rank to believe Nero7 had become completely delusional, have all quickly turned out to be completely true, even in the slightest detail. We have also discovered that during Nero7`s formerly inexplicable absence for over five years which left our order in disarray as many dedicated members and even leaders left, planned out effective counter-measures and strategies which have not only allowed us to contact our members worldwide encouraging them to follow the orders of those that have infiltrated us, but also the means to slowly extract them and allow those marked by our unknown enemies, to find refugee within our safety quarters. Many of us, even I and Nero7`s left hand (the first female you all have met) quickly began suspecting that Nero7 might have in fact been the one behind this considering his incredibly detailed information regarding the ongoing threat, yet considering the fact that Nero7 is not only hospitalized but where also heavily assaulted by what he believed was a common drunk, but was actually a mercenary hired by this unidentified enemy force to kill him in what would have made seem like a bar brawl, but also the fact that our main resources hidden to all but our highest order and some of our economist and used sparingly in order to hinder financial trouble during "rainy days" and also in order to support members that face sudden unexpected economical struggle or crippling injuries or disease. So unless Nero7 used his own resources, which is barely enough to keep him from going hungry, in order to steal from himself, which is illogical (I am ashamed to admit that I earn over 98 percent more, while my efforts and responsibilities are not nearly as demanding as his). To think that Nero7 even thought himself delusional and started doubting his sanity, it rather turns out that yet again he has proven himself to be a misunderstood genius that has led us even though many followers went as far as to mock him, leave and start hate groups. "Eliza" I know this is far beyond the hours we operate at, but I ask you that you let us know if you are still there so we can inform you further (to think that even I deemed Nero7`s decision of using such a crippled site as this one in order to relay certain information, instead this piece of crap site which gets hacked nearly daily, is now as he assumed not only one of the, but the ONLY place on earth in we can safely relay information during this attack. Eliza the first thing we discovered is that these are in no way affiliated/allied with the government, nor some government black op (Nero7 was right about investigations from FBI The C.I.A and even Interpol`s interpol, while peaceful, where actually the means our enemies used to collect information, but now we have also learned, that these random, investigations considered strange by none but Nero7 for thousands of reasons all in front of our eyes, are part of this global threat against not only the reputation of our order, which is already in the progress of being ruined, revealed to the public and misused, but also towards its existence, all while our enemies keep using the exposure of our order with the intention of "recruiting" new members, promising them money, and have begun using religious, spiritual and brain washing methods in order to draft them into their cause. You know there is nothing Nero7 hates more than these methods and please, spread the word any which way you can. If you can buy a new cellphone and spread the word (your number has already been added at their registry) and call and warn all members and potential members you know, we will repay your efforts once this is over. Ps: Those hidden camera Nero7 heavily insisted we put, which we considered completely insane, are the only means in which we are aware of several of their actions, damn us all for doubting the man which has made us what we are today, and which we advise we had listened to, would never have gotten into this mess. Might the shadows support you "Eliza".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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