What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

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What's the difference between a duck?

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Asians...

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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knock knock whos their a person

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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