How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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Loading....please wait.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Penis!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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