A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

What was Helen Keller book called Bsnshsiengwkaisg

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

I would rape her

What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...