Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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