A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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