What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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