An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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c:

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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