Ancient Greeks rights

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hope you all drop the soap in prison

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops