Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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British Dentistry

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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What do you call a Fat man? You call him by His name because that's the polite thing to do.

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Your girlfriend.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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what do you call a group of people who are systematiclly ruining a once well run family football club? steve kean , the venkys, and there advisors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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