Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Jimmy Saville

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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