what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I work at jcpenny

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If you have a stroke, call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

thumb_up thumb_down +7

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +18

cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops