muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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No!

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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