Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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a man walked into a bar....

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops