Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Albert your flies undone.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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feces

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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