whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

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So a black man hails a taxi...

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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A horse walks into a bar. Animal control them came and got him out, apologizing for the matter.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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