Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

thumb_up thumb_down

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down

1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops