Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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