What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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Hey, Have you Seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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