Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

Guess what.. chicken butt

Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

How do you make Justin Bieber handsome? He already is!

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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