A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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smell the vitamin C

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

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What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

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What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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