What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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Whats the different betweene a drugdealer and a cop? I dont know but i think they dont have the same wife.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Patrick is gay

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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