Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What does water taste like? Water

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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