What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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roses are red violets are red everything's red i'm colour blind

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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