Chuck norris survived rapture.

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how black is a black man? pretty black.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Ask me if I am a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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yo momma is so tall shes tall

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No it doesnt..

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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