Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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nba live 13

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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