your mum

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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