roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

What did the cow say to the farmer? moo

How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

a black guy leaves prison

whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

What is sticky and smelly - a stick

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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