what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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You having friends.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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how bout that airplane foood!!!1

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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