whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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