Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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i like it in the mouth

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Why Did The Boy Fall Off The Swing? Because He Had No Arms.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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fava beans

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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