Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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Gianni

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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I'm banging your sister.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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