1+2 = 6

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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homosexual

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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