An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

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world peace

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Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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why did joe drown ? he had no arms

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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