How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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what sucks? things that suck

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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