HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Diana and victoria

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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