I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

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hi

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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