Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What time is it? 10:58

ever tried african food? they neither

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

What is black and has no education A tire.

whats purple and brown lucozade sport

Dani barton from bob chuckles

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

denisssssssssssssss

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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