how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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Your mam is so fat.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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