a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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apple pie.

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An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

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What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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A blonde walked into a bar.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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