"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops