*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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