Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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7

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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A seal walks into a club.

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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