what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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69

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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Caroline Kelly.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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