What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Boner

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why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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69

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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