roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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david weres the slug gone

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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