Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

Womens rights

AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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