What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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