what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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Robert Mugabe.

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Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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