How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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heat!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops