Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what do you call someone who hates jews anti semitic

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops