why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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