Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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