Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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96

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Wanna here a joke? To bad you can't your black.

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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What Do You Call A Swimming Banana.. Nothing Bananas Are Inanimate Objects Therefore It Would Be Impossible For It Swim

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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