Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Sex

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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