Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Why dd the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She lost her arms to cancer.

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I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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21

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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