- Anti Joke

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

Wanna know something fishy? A fish

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

You again? Well, ill answer again then. Ill be fine, I just got some wounds and got beaten into a coma which nobody was sure I was going to wake up from so details where hidden. As for this Neo guy, I have no idea who he is and where he arrived from, but if he is gone, it wont matter. Lets just say I wont die from these wounds, some people disagree, but I have overcome far, far worse, so trust me, these guys told me I had two weeks to live about a month ago, and the doctor that was there at my birth told me I had two months to live and would never develop a consciousness... I digress and my japing mouth disagrees with his statement regarding my not being able to learn or understand fluid language, hah... ...As for you Golgo12 "some people deem me insane", id say most people do, except six million of them, and I do not plan to leave this realm just because my lifelong dream is set, there is still much to do, point zero is not exactly a nice place at the moment, but technology and money can do wonders, we soon plan to expand things. Sorry everybody else, I am too tired to answer anything, id say something sooner, but I officially beat the record of 11 days without sleep by not being able to sleep for 14 days, and then I raged when I read you need to hold on for at least six weeks on valium if you want to quit cold turkey. Technically docs say I am on 30 mg, but fuck I can handle 20 just fine... Cant say the same about none. Ill gladly share more details, but if I cant sleep soon, the damn pain will keep me awake all night long... Besides I am hungry... Which is good, my nurse (Alice is damn cute lucky me) was concerned about me refusing to eat, thats over... Oh yeah the details, I got some burns (lets not go into details, lets just say that for you that call me pretty face, this is no longer the case) They shattered my knees, but my kneecaps "broke on their own" (dad) when I was four, and you guys know I can run and all that. Except that they put some shit on my eyes before I broke free, but I managed to wash it away, so while I need some glasses until I see if laser surgery can fix my vision again (I doubt it, its not how it works) I will apparently be wearing glasses that Alice says makes me look "cute and nerdy" which to me sounds like Nerdy. Fine I got to eat, so if you have any more questions, feel free, and if Eliza got any more, I ask you guys let her go first, its not like "YOU ARE ALIVE?!? AGAIN?!" Is a question I need to answer to each of you rite? Well now or... Never (aka next week or something) so get moving...

how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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