What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When I walk in the rain, I get wet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Chris Bosh's neck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +31

you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

thumb_up thumb_down -37

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops