Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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have you ever tasted ethiopian food? ..... neither have they

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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