"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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