What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

lipstick pig

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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