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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

What's stupid and a waste of time? Anti joke .com because people on here are too ignorant and serious cuz it's not funny. It's anti joke G-Dang it. Come on seriously

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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