What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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heres a funny joke your momas so fat............

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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