what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

who smells? •Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops