Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

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Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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