why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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a child logs on to anti-joke.com and proceeds to post dead baby jokes and jokes with punchlines that suit the build up. i am bitterly disappointed as are all the other fans of anti-joke.com who understand the humor of anti jokes

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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