Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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UNICORNZ R PURPUL

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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42

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What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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