A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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david weres the slug gone

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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