y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Three men are in prison and comparing crimes. The first says that he got three years and he never robbed that store. The second says he served six years and he never hit that lady. The third said he got life, and he killed every child in that orphanage.

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women's rights

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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