What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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This is a joke. Laugh!

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops