Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Diana and victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why Because

thumb_up thumb_down +37

My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

thumb_up thumb_down +15

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops