Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

You know what big feet mean? Big socks

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...