What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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