what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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