How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Come on children, don't dawdle.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock It's Open!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats gay and american? a gay american

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops