A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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whats the differnce between a corvette and a pile of dead babies??? i dont have a corvette in my garage.

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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