A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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