Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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pubic lice.

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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My life

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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