Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Rebecca Black sings a song.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops