Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs? Names

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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i lyk 2 eet pup

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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