Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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