What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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what do you call a kid named kid. kid

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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