Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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