How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

E= McVagina

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

A dog is always in the pushup position.

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

Whats black and red inside? A black guy

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

destiny

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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