I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

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your face is kinda funny

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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The Pope

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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