Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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