What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the cure of cancer? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops