What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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smug face >:}

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops