Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

216-409-7176 Call me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jesse gets so many ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -43

one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops