- Anti Joke

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

A baby seal walks into a club...

what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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