Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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KIMBERLEY HONEY

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What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

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Knock Knock Come in!

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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