A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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knock knock

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I lost my tractor.

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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