What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

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69

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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ert

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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