What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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whats my name? Matt

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your a towel.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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