What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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what do you call a kid named kid. kid

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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