Kony 2012

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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88

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

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68

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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Canada

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This is funny.

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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