Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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