- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

do you know what was a good idea? not last night

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops