What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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