What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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what's up? my penis.

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Katy Perry

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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3

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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