How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What comes after 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Faithful men.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops