Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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