what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

have you ever tasted ethiopian food? ..... neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

PATHETIC

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops