Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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Romney 2012

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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