roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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