Knock Knock. Go away!

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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88

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69.

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

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68

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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