What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Jimmy Saville

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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