Patrick is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boys have swag, real men have class

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse than being bored, Being you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops