Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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hey, my names mark.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Sarah Palin

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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