Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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What would u like to drink?

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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