Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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