CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

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A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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