Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A woman should not be in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hitler was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops