a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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If black guys really have big packages, why are there standards so low, they prefer fat girls? I don't know, but prejudice and racism is wrong dickhead.

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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