Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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