On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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a mexican and a black guy are sitting in a car, who's driving? the police

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

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Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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Republicans

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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Blind people can't read this.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you call a black man? A person

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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