Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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NASCAR

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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knock knock. who's there? ya ya who? dot com

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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