An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Comedy.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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