Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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69

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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