Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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hey guys im gay

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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