How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Granny porn!

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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And so the poster says to the apple ........ Your not my dog

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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Sarah Palin is President

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what do u call a gay dinosaur megasoreass

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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long in the tooth!

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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Laura Pratz..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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