A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

school homewrok

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -24

(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Blonde Entrepeneurs

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

thumb_up thumb_down -5

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is funnier then 25 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops