Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

thumb_up thumb_down -18

No

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I only like NY as a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops