A fish swims up your penis...

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So a jew walks into a bar!

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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zx

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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suck my balls mr.garison

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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Hitler

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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