One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Twinkle Twinkle little wh**e close youre legs youre not a door. youre gonna get an S,T,D, youree only wanted cause youre free... Twinkle Twinkle little Wh**e youre cheeper then the dollar store

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boobs

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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Poop

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops