Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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what did the women with no arms and legs say to her daughter? go to your room.

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68

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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breasts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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