what's funnier than hell? heaven

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: It didn't do it for any good reason,chickens are mindless and do random things,like crossing the road

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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