You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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Matthew Baker

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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what's the difference between a duck?

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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If you're reading this, you can read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops