Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What would u like to drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down +24

1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops