A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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