What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My life

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Poopsack Jones

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I am very humble.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops