A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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Welcome to die!

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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