How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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hi

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Yes!

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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