Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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feces

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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Set up Punch line.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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