Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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PATHETIC

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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