Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

cancer

I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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