Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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Satan called. I put him on hold.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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