Alex Eggbert

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

The bird is not the word.... Its two

What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...