Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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Justin Bieber

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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roses are red violets are blue me n' friends guna rape you trolololoLOLOLOlololOLLOLOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOLO01010101010111 666

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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