A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

thumb_up thumb_down

An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

My nipple is bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops