One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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E= McVagina

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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Whats black and red inside? A black guy

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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destiny

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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