John Cena for president

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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i like tits

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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