Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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My life

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Yes.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Poopsack Jones

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I am very humble.

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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