What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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The New York Giants

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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