Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Poopsack Jones

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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I am very humble.

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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