Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Sarah Palin

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR S H I T STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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A man walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops