I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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roses are red violets are blue me n' friends guna rape you trolololoLOLOLOlololOLLOLOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOLO01010101010111 666

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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It's April Fools Day... APRIL FOOLS!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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