did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Diana and victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why Because

thumb_up thumb_down +37

My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

thumb_up thumb_down +28

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is funnier than 24 69

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops