Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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