Psychics.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

thumb_up thumb_down +22

White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Like this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops