How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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KONY 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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