What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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I like touching my boobs

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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A man gets shot in the balls by a huge swarm of bees HE IS VERY NICE AND FILLED WITH RICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Once upon of time there was 2 boys named Bucky and Thorn. They were best of friends and always came up with amusing adventures. So one day, during summer time before high school senior year, Bucky and Thorn went to go hiking on the mountain called Mt. Saint Lasik. It was the tallest mountain of the city. The city was called "The City of Dreams" because everyone had a dream that one day they will accomplish their goals. Well Bucky had a goal and his goal was to be the youngest to ever climb the mountain. However, Thorn was jealous because he as 11 toes. Since he can't hike they decided to go camping at Walala National Park. One day they saw a big huge bear named Pervus. Pervus told them that they were not allowed to be there. Thorn told Pervus to shut the hell up because he can't hike mountains. A girl came suddenly showed up. It was a girl named Sally. She was half black, white, Spanish, ad French, and she could sweet talk bears. Pervus said "Now it's time to boogey woogey woogey" and began dancing like a maniac. Police arrived. Officer Caleb Johnson was in the scene to investigate. "Where were you at the night of April 24th?" To which Bucky replied "To what do I owe pleasure of speaking?" Harry, his front door neighbor stole the cop car and drove off to New Guinea. God knows how or why Harry showed up. Coincidentally, Sally decided it was time to leave. Everyone left utterly confused. The End.

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hear hear

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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