Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Lil Wayne

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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So you there Red?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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