How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

thumb_up thumb_down

What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops