How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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wanna here an anti joke scroll down

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Xbox One

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I can count to potato.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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