What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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gays

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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