Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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How are JFK and Jimmy Neutron similar? They both had brain blasts.

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

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A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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