how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i dont like attention whores lol

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops