Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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Ian's mind Elevator music

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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SHINEE IS BACK PART HARD

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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