What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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women's rights

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops