Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops