What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Get on the boat.

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CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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