A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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