What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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how did the thirteen year old girl get pregnant? she was raped.

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My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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