I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Women's rights

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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how did the man with the gun die? obesity

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Obama

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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