What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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