Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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