What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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A snake walks into a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

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Starter clothing

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops