How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In soviet russia, roses are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops