What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

Jamie Oliver eats a chip

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

Guess what? Holocaust

How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

black people

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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