DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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George Bush.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What happens when a PC gamer without a mic rages? ASDKFHQIUEWHASKZNF9324Y8PTWFSDIUHASDFADSFUFKASJDF843QADKJVNCXT%$W(ESDHDSFAAASDFASKLDFU8EWADSdsfalsdkjfhuewanzxcAJSKDFUIEW

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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dog

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Penis

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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