Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Manchester City

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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