What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Please spell dyslexia.

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Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink The bartenders says no, because she is a woman, and he is a sexist Women are still not equally treated in this world

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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. pussy . I don't get it ? .of course you don't

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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