Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops