how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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