Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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How would you rule?

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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