If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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You smell like shit

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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That is so fetch

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Jews for Jesus

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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