Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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knock knock who's there Steve Go away

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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