What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Vicky is my best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than the holocaust? Peoples' bad attempts at Anti-Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a man walked into a bar "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What if I told you.....potatoe

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops