Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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why did the chicken cross the road? to spend the night with his friend.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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A man made a sandwich.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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